i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
