my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
its liver damage thursday
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
