hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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