I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
