Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize