Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
