I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
