i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
