Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
