I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
