just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
