I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
