Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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