i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize