I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
