so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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