Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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