between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
