We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
