He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize