dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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