You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
40s are totally the cure
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
