Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
