Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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