hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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