Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
