i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i would punch a child for taco bell
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
