why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
birth control should be required to get into college
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
