My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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