Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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