i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
COCAINE IS GR8
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize