HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
