they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
