I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
