I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
