Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
