his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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