Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize