The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
