Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
