Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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