they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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