P.S. I can't hear my feet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
