I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
