I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
