Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
