With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
