Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
