Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
