This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
