my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize