We're facebook friends in real life
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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