she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
