Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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