so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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