Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
