Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize