she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize