Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
