you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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