The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
