just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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