he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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