Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
FUCK WHALES
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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