Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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