New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
